Vital Pixel

The Many Hardships

How not to WriEt

The Many Hardships…
And the Threat of Becoming a Square
~}Bitchy Post, De la Tarde{~

‘Make a Post like this, and You are Doomed to Fail’

I began blogging for fun, with the hopes (high hopes) of earning some money as the blog began to grow.  Of course being the usual noobie upstart blog creator, my blog was, and is just a blog with little to no traffic.  I spend hours each day reading content, hoping to learn enough about one subject that I can create an entirely new article on it.  This leaves me and other bloggers in my position with very little time for fun.  Especially in between school, homework, and whatever time you may have alotted for gaming.

It may sound odd that gaming is on the list of things that must be done in a day, but it is somewhat important.  At least, it is important to me, because if I didn’t play games I would be considered a complete square.  Being a complete square is not something that I strive for, and so I take the necessary precautions to keep that title away.

Unfortunately, gaming get’s just as boring to me as thinking up new things to write about.  Maybe it’s because I think to much, to much like some other people think.

“What exactly is the point of playing this damned game?  Is the point to be completely pointless? Create a character, level it to *70?  Get better gear for it, and then make a new character?  All the while, never having any actual fun while playing the game, and instead falsifying fun and replacing it with the urgency to be better than other people.  Maybe if I/We were more interesting, or felt as though we were better than people IRL (in real life).  Then this urgency would be gone from our minds”

As I type, I hear my game addict brother in the background yelling at the computer.

“WHAT THE FREAKING CRAP!?  I WAS DOING SO FREAKIN GOOD!!  WHAT THE FREAKING CRAP HAPPENED?!!  WTFFFF!” (exeunt)

Here is an image to make you feel like your better than someone (so you can stop playing games and do something useful).

Now you see, I created this whiny/ranty post to vent my sorrows without going back and editing my writing.  It is definitely possible that if I spent more time editing this post it would’ve turned out worse than it already is.  In fact, I think I would’ve intentionally made it worse to increase the overall whiney-bitchIness.  After all, the whole reason this is here is to be the visual chalkboard screech of the internet.

I’ve gone off course though, this was supposed to have some sort of value, or meaning.  Maybe someone will find it interesting.  I doubt finishing this will bring any joy or greater knowledge the the reader.  For this reason, I will not allow myself to go back and re-read/proof-read this article.  If you wish this paragraph was at the top of the post, then I’m truly sorry… but since I made a previous commitment (in the last sentence) I cannot move this paragraph to the top.  It would indeed break the vow I made to not go back and edit this post.

Why exactly is this image Here?:
I’m not really sure why this image is here.  It could be because this post is titled the many hardships, and this guy looks like he went through some pretty bad times.  Actually, it’s from the movie The Pianist, and he’s a Jew… so you know he’s been through some pretty bad times.

If you’re wondering why the jew is being some quickly intertwined with the words Many Hardships, that would also be because the movie was about genocide.  The hardships of Jews when the Nazis and Hitler were ruling over Germany.

No esta muy bueno…

~If you write like this on your blog… you are doomed to fail.

~Do not write like this on your blog… or you will be doomed to fail

~Fail….
~Fail…..
~Fail……

I have to admit though, this was one of the most ‘fun’ things I’ve been able to write.  “LOLZ”

Tags: crappy, noob, post, sauce, stupid, the pianist, useless

Why Bloggers Know Everything

IF I was being serious and bloggers really did know everything, then the reason would be;

• They’re blog is on a topic they have studied, worked on, or enjoyed as a hobby for years.

Since I’m not really being serious, and bloggers really don’t know everything, no matter how intelligent they may seem.  I’ll just come straight out and say, Most bloggers have no legitamite idea what they’re writing about, atleast half of the time.  Now some of you may be thinking that means bloggers just Bullshit their way through entire articles?

This was brought to my attention when I read a comment to an article on digg.  Of course the article was about how to pick up chicks and it was written by someone who spends all of his time on the computer and smoking weed (according to the site’s theme).  You can check out the site here.  So anyways, this comment stated that the author cleary had no idea what he was talking about.  I’m sure most bloggers just spam out articles and forget/don’t choose to proof read their articles.  Sometimes this leads to leaving out key points and important parts of certain posts.

So, in my opinion the commentor was being a little too harsh.  The ability to BS complete articles seems to me like some what of a sign of genius.  Every other blogger on the internet, and myself have written an article simply for the benefits at one point or another.  This often times leaders to failure, but can sometimes bring in traffic for spurr of the moment topics.

Also, the aire of intelligence and self confidence leads people to believe whatever the author says.  When an author tells something matter-of-fact-like he’s doing better for himself than he would be if he were to say something as if he wasn’t sure about it.  Plus, most people browsing the internet are seeking information on the internet, and aren’t likely to call you out if you’re wrong.

When a blogger writes something that he/she doesn’t know anything about, you can probably expect it to be true enough to believe.  Educated guesses and hypotheses are what found scientific theories and eventually end up as solid results.  Don’t expect things that you’re reading on blogs to be untrue either, because many bloggers look into what they’re posting about before typing up the article.

OMg.. I totally just BS’d my way through that entire article.  I’m serious too, I don’t think it came out very well.

Tags: a, Add new tag

Why Sex is Epic Win

Sexy images, commercials, and even suggestive phrasiology can be the key to a great advertising campaign. Although not always necessary, for most products, you’ll find that when associated with sex, they sell better! It’s my belief that every human being thinks at least a little bit like I do, and when I see an advertisement with a good looking female posing half nude on the internet. I’m probably going to click on the advertisement, even if it’s just to see more.

I’m sure that for everyone, one of the most obvious companies that uses sex to appeal to it’s customers is Godaddy. A web hosting company and domain registrar that almost every webmaster is familiar with. Despite the constant foul reviews Godaddy get’s on the internet, I constantly hear of people that use it. The godaddy girl is just so hot, it makes their whole campaign a little more irresistable.

Sure, any company that spends money on commercials is going to get some bonus customers. But, which commercial do you think is going to get the most followers. A professional commercial, with a guy in a suit telling you about all of the positive features of their web hosting company, or a commercial with a smokin’ hot babe telling you to use her web host. I don’t think she even tells you to use godaddy, she just say… Go Daddy.

If that turned any of you onto godaddy, I apologize… don’t use them for your web host or domain registrar. Bluehost is a much better host, and namecheap is by far the best domain registrar. Neither of which have the advantage of sexy advertisements.

Sex doesn’t have to be your advertising campaign in order to get people interested in your website. It could be a simple article, or tidbit of content about sex that leads users on to the rest of your content. For example, this post could be the turning point in vital pixel’s streak of poor-traffic. Of course I have no idea, since the post isn’t published. But, judging by the way things usually play out… I assume it will be.

On the other hand, sex can be your whole advertising campaign, and what your website is about. Sex and Porn and the two top searched terms on the internet. So that tells you what people are interested in. I’m not even going to bother calling them pervs either, everyone has done it.

An photo blog with sexy images on it, is ten times more likely to succeed than a photo blog about fancy cars. I think most people can imagine, that cars are a big market in today’s world. Sexy, nudity, and suggestive art prevail though, and don’t let anyone tell you it doesn’t.

Advertising campaigns for food using lewd videos and commercials is also common. Here is one commercial for burger king in the UK.

Just try incorporating a sexy picture into your website. Use a good looking female spokesperson for your next business. Hooters will be my last examples, probably one of the most successful chain of restaurant’s to ever exist. Why do you think this is so? Because women are just decoration when it comes to marketing, and it works pretty damn well.

Tags: appeal, eye, feminism, hot, marketing, pretty, sells, sex, sexism, sexy, ugly, website, women

Make Money With your Blog

Blogging is one of the most popular ways to get your ideas across to the general public. I use it, and there’s probably more than half of the webmaster population using a blogging platform as well. It’s a good thing though, a lot of blogs means there are a lot of good tips, information, and news that circulates around the web. Blogging is easy too, with just an update or two per day, and a little bit of help from your social networking friends, you can get your blog popular and make money with it in days.

Step 1: Traffic
I’m going to assume you already have traffic to your blog, and continue with this post. If you don’t have a steady flow of traffic coming to your blog yet, then check back next time for the Blog Traffic post, which I am due to release pretty soon.

Step 2: PPC Ads
By far the most obvious way to make money on the internet. Go and make your self a publisher account on Google Adsense to get started. You can customize your advertisements, and paste the javascript code into your page. Make sure to blend your ads in with the usual color scheme of your site, for maximum click potential. For every click, you get a certain amount of money (based on your keywords). You can also make money for getting large amounts of impressions. Don’t click your own ads, or ask your visitors to click ads!

Step 3: Affiliate Marketing
Affiliate marketing, is simply getting someone elses product, and referring new users to it. Lot’s of sites on the internet have affiliate programs you can join. You can check out Affiliate Scout for several different sites that have affiliate programs. Sometimes affiliate programs have flat rates, like… $65 dollars per sign up. Or, they will pay you a % of the money the person you referred ends up making.

Step 4: Link Sales
If your blog has a high page rank. Which is Google’s interpretation of the value of your site. People will start getting interested in having their link on your website. The higher your page rank (pr), the more you can sell links for. The easiest way to sell links, is to join a forum like Digitalpoint or Vitalpixel Forums, and create a thread giving the details of your site, and how much you are willing to sell link-space for. Never fill up your site with too many links, and make sure to sell links monthly. Don’t offer life-time links unless you’re a directory, because you may want to take them down at some point.

Step 5: Products
If you have your own products that you’d like to sell, you probably know more about how to sell them than I do. But, the way I would go about selling my products, is to post a link to my website on a webmaster forum (in the buy/sell/trade section). Then, I would give details about what I was selling, and offer my services to those willing to pay. For Example;

I would say, Selling webmaster tip comics for $5 a piece. They would give me what they wanted the comic to be about, I would make it, give it to the buyer, and they would pay me. It’s pretty simple, and self-explanatory really.

Step 6: Blog Reviews

Once your blog starts to get a decent amount of visitors, and has a pretty good page rank, you can start selling reviews. When I start making reviews, I’m sure I’ll be using reviewme, which is the biggest name in blog reviews at the moment. You’re site will have to be reviewed by them, before being accepted into the program, but once your in you can make quite a bit of money.

Tags: affiliate, blog, internet, link sales, money, pay per click, ppc, profit, Reviews

Ad Placement

Where you put your advertisements is one of the most important factors when trying to make money on the internet. You need to make sure and keep your ads in places where people can see them, but also make sure they’re not an eye sore. Blending your ads in with the usual appearance of your website is also important. For example, if you had a green theme, and your google ads were red, there’s no way you would get as many clicks as you should.

The Comic:

Tags: ad placement, comic, google, internet, money, online, optimization, profit, vitalpixel

Black hat Tips Used by Google to Get Big: Revealed!!!

Ok, so how could any site get big like google without using some sort of black hat tips?  One possibility is link-baiting, using titles which suggest the content contains more information than it actually does.  Like for example, a title that enthralls the reader, and aggressively persuades them to read on.  So no, i don’t have any real black hat tips that Google Used to Get Big.  I doubt anyone could tell you what google really did to get big.

Unless they tell you the truth, like;

• Google Invested a lot from the beginning
• They have good products
• They have Good Service
• They have their own building IRL!

Ok, to continue the lesson… here’s a quick comic:

In order to get really popular articles, you have to write titles that attract the reader.  If your title is as boring as mine usually are, then nobody will go on to read the rest of your post.  So whether you’re tricking someone or not, you might want to try Link-Bait!

Tags: black, black hat, black hat trick, comic, google, hat, link bait, seo, tip, tips, trick, tricks, vitalpixel, webmaster

Don’t Pay For Traffic!

Traffic that you pay for can never really be good traffic.  When I first started off in the webmaster business, I wanted to find ways to get visitors really quick, and without a lot of work.  The truth is, you’re never going to find quality visitors that way.  What you want, is people that are going to go to your site because they want to, not because they’re being paid to.

Some of you may have been to traffic exchange sites, where you leave the window open for 30 seconds, and then move on to the next website.  When you pay for traffic, you are paying for visitors to come to your site just like that!  There are also other ways that people can send you traffic, and whether they’re bots or real members, it never works out the way you want it to.  Unless you’re one of those sites that brings all of it’s visitors in from top sites, then the traffic you get to begin with doesn’t mean a thing.

One other downside to buying traffic is… google doesn’t condone it!  You could get your publisher’s account banned just for purchasing traffic.  You could lose multiple clicks, or be smart-priced… (no bueno, I’ve been there).

For quality traffic, build up your content and let SEO do its work.  A few other ways to get good traffic is to post in show off threads in forums, submit articles to digg, stumble your sites (trust me, social networking is good).  Even linking and embedding youtube videos on your site can get you some quality traffic from the linked by section underneath the video on youtube’s site.

Here’s my comic for this lesson~

Tags: account, ban, buying, google, quality, seo, traffic, visitors

Oh the Horror

After my click bombing post the other day, I’ve been getting hundreds of clicks per day in google.  I assume that most of those clicks are the result of click bombing.  It really sucks because I was trying to advise people against that sort of thing, what does click bombing do for the clicker?

Anyways, maybe I’m not being clickbombed, and all of my click values are just extremely low.  I seriously doubt that though, 160 clicks and $1.50?  Haha

Luckily I haven’t been banned from google yet, and maybe that’s because google has updated.  Perhaps they just don’t count multiple clicks, instead of banning the publisher account.  Which would be a very good thing for publisher’s who’ve been previously click bombed.  What’s really crappy for me though, is I can’t tell if I’m getting actual clicks or not.